its June [4] and i worked most of the weekend and i went to Lukes new place its alright to start with but strangely his bedroom doesn't have a door (akward!!!) anyway well work on Sunday was hell for the last two hours both the drive thru tils crash, mine frozed for a good 10 mins and the other one you couldn't use debit. Well i guess i'll start my new Work Rant Journal soon whenever i have the next biggest problem at work. Exams are soon we have like 10 actully school days or something like that i'm worried about my chemistry exam but today i made some notes on some of the formulas i get confused about and tomorrow i'm going to Mr. Bates to see if there right in the first place. I started the half film part of my DFV exam, our movie is about two lovers and the guy is Jock Guy (haven't fugured out whos going to be him) and the Girl (me of course *giggles*) and the Jocky Guy dies from a heart attack (or whatever them young athletes get when they work to much). Luke did this audution thing that involves him signing which i been telling him for as long as we been together that he has a great voice and now hes finaly listening to me about it i wish i could go but stupid mom went to see some friend so of course i'm stuck babysitting but i wish him all my luck (which has good odds with me).Well this is a pretty long journal for now well... i guess it would get shorter once i make my Work Rant Journal i'll tell you about my weekend and that in my next update.
June [13] well work was ok beside last week i had a bad bitch fight with Whore and our manager walked in but he just walked back out once he seen we wore fighting and Josh rucued me (yay). On Thursday its me and Luke 1 year and 5 months and i really hope i can spend time with him its been a long while sence we actully hung out on the 14th. Sadly dad isn't coming for Father's Day because mom said no and i bought him a present and everything well thats all i can think of i'm hopefully going to luke after school before we go to work but if not that means i have to go to Sweeney house and tortue him with Passions (lol) and than his dad will drive me to work. Yeah thats all i can really think of i hope work not bad tonight TTYL.
It's the [18]. I worked all weekend and worked my first double shift yesterday and than i stayed at Lukes place last night. And than we got to school right before lunch but Luke ran off to go find Stephanie so it was like i didn't matter at all to him so i was a little pissy and sence Sweeney left i went with a walk with Kael which he made me feel better and i wasn't mad anymore and i went to Chemistry class which we played hangman on a whole new level we did it with chemicals it was tripie.

its May [2] and yes i did get the job *woot* but lately i been feeling fucked but i'll deal with it like i always do. Me and Luke are still working on our relationship i really hopes he passes his test and besides worrying about that i had alot of things on my mind future wise and i'm just being me worrying all the time. Anyway there isn't much to say i'm going 2 the movies and seeing Spiderman 3 with L (Jordan L) and maybe Sweeny (Sean) because L strangly asked Sweeny if he wanted to come which i find that odd but o well i'll next you next week how it went.
Its the [14] and today is me and lukes 1 year and 4th month but i think he forgot agian...and the movie was good but L was a no show so it was just me and Sweeny and than after we went to the mall and he bought me a top and over the weekend he got me a present its so pretty i always wanted them glass things mainly a little pig. I finaly start my training shift for McDonalds on Wednesday and work all week so no free weekend for me . Well it looks like i have to have a talk with Luke... heard something i don't like now i just have to get him alone long enough to talk to him (i'm a face-face kind of person). Well i don't think theres much more to tell i'll update some time next week like always.
O.k today is the [22] and me and Luke are doing good as far as i know. Work was good besides bitchy or anouyng customers and i'm gettign at least $250 for this pay check *woot*. OMG!!! last Thursday and Friday our school had a bomb threat. On Thursday i was in Chemistry class in 3rd period when it happen and they stuck us at Cole Harbour Place til the bus came and Friday i was in Math class 1st period for like no more than 5 mins and we wore stuck at Cole Harbour Place for like 2 hours i think it was fucked. Dad coming down this weekend and after work on Saturday i'm going shopping but luke will be gone to some scoots thing all day o well i guess its just me and my i-pod unless someone wants to come with me. Yeah thats all i can think of for right now i'll do my last update for this month next week.
Ok my last update for this month journal its the [29]. There was a dance on Thursday Sweeny went to my house and i attempt to straight his hair (looke really bad) so i soaked his hair and but the "blue stuff" (that Sunsilk Hairapy stuff) and the dance was good besides Brittany being a bitch like shes been for over a week now but i won't get into that. I worked all weekend and than i went shopping but sadly alone Sweeny was going to go with me but he couldn't go because he couldn't get off work so it was just me and my i-pod and while i went shopping Dad and Michel seen Shrek 3. OMG!!! Luke found a place now but its under the stupid bridge but i really hope its some what walking distance from the bus stop (Bridge Terminal). Well as far as i been working at McDonalds i have at least one problem with somebody so i'm going to make a journal of me ranting about work (you can read it if you want i don't care). Well i think thats everything i'll make my June journal in a few days in June if anything big happens in my life.

Today is April [1] which means april fools day but no body got me but if today was a joke i don't know what i would do i would feel like I want to crawl in a ball in the corner and die. Well... today luke told me he doesn't want to be with me and i was emotionless for a while and i wanted to have feeling so i listen to my music but not even my happy music could make me happy. I ranting on some people which helped a bit the only thing that hurts the most that its over. I guess its the end and i'm having a hard time dealing with it because so many promises are broken, right now i'm not o.k but i will be one day but i know that day will take a very long time to come. I love luke with all of my heart and we fought so hard to be together and now its over. Well thats enough about that i ranting enough about it for one day and i put Page 9 of my story up for all those that actully read it (lol) i'll update in about a week or something.
Well its the [10] of April. my Easter weekend was ok, i had family in my house so it was a bit crazy. Monday i went to the mall with luke (oh by the way were still not together) and i got applications for a other attempt at getting a job and it was the best day me and luke acted normal and than i almost forgot we woren't together and caught in the moment but once i got home it sucked it we woren't together and it made me miss him even more and now i don't know what to do. OMG!!! I have a job interview Friday (Friday the 13th isn't that spose to be a unlucky day) and theres a dance this Thursday my next update i'll tell you how the dance and job interview went i just hope i have a good time and get the job anyway i guess thats enough for now.
O.K today is the [16] well i don't think i got that job and the dance was really bad and same with my week (if you really want 2 know give me a note) and yeah today was bad (note me if you want to know that too) well the only reason i'm not saying on here too much dam writing i got enough stuff in this month as it is but theres one thing i really want to say. I'm really sorry Luke today went out of control and it wasn't spose to go down like that. Trust me if it went like it was spose to I would of been the only one you got hurt by today. I'M SORRY!!!.
O.K its the [24] and this is the last update for this month. Monday i went on a job interview for McDonalds and she said she'll call me by Friday if i get the job which i really hope i do its the fourth interview i been to the past year and i'm at the point i feel really hopeless for a job. Anyway me and Luke are doing O.K we're taking things slow so we can work everything out. Well at the moment i can't think what to update on about as i said this is my last one for this month so i'll tell you if i got the job or not when May comes around.

ok today is the [7] and i wish i knew what was wrong with me i been so fucked up oh and by the way remember me saying i was going to greenwood or at least away well we had a snow/ice storm so that ddin't happen but dad said we will go during march break well back to me being fucked... yeah..... i been still hearing alot of things and it makes me wonder alot of things i love luke with all of my heart and more and i'm going to fight as hard as i can with all my friends by my side and get the turth so all this bullshit can stop, my thoughts can stop and i can move on with my life. I'm debating wether to talk about a dream i had the two people i told so far call it scary and i say don't worry i had worst well here goes ok i was at the IWK (the kids hospital) for some reaosn cuz i'm 18 so i wouldn't go there and i was getting a cat scan and the doctor toke me out and asked if i had a headace (and i had a thrumping one) and touch the back of my head and it was mushy and there was blood every where. Than it cut to chris mom being there (well she works there but shes not a nurse) and is calling chris and telling him so chris calls luke but sadly luke was buzy (not going to say how or why) and so chris was like "fine let your girldfriend die in the hospital" and hung up. Than i wake up having a IV in my arm so its stiff and chris, michelle,jay and beau wore all there and than michelle cell phone rings and it was luke than they tell me what happen and i said "get lukes ass down here and i will deal with it" than everyone left. My old doctor came in and told me i have a tumor on my brain and i'm going 2 die and i'm like "NO I'M NOT!!!" (yeah that was a bit scary) than luke comes and we have a big fight and i tell him to leave (didn't tell him the me dying part) than i woke up and didn't sleep the rest of the night. And worst of all things luke didn't show up to school and i kinda needed him o well sadly nothing good came out today so no good thing will be sad i'll update when i get back from march break i don't know what my dream means but all i know is I LOVE U LUKE
ok today is the [23] and i'll make it short sence my last update was long. ok March/Spring Break was kinda boring luke worked most of it and i think i seen him for like two days and still looking for ways to give rid of my anger (i have a idea tho but i got morals so the whore is lucky for that one lol) and my courses are fucked so i got to be bitching once agian (i seem to do that alot...) and i did the fifth attempt looking for a job (wish me luck PLEASE!!!!!!!) anyway i'm putting page 8 of my story up and i might make a update by the end of the month of april who know because i don't lol

ok its now February well it was luke b-day but i was horriable sick so i couldn't see him i rented FF 12 and i been playing it almost every day but i sadly got to take it back today but next month i'll get it man this week and a bit has been so fucked i been confused up and down the wall trying to be there for luke and other people with there problems o course and the last time i checked me and luke are doing good but i don't know as i said i'm so confused just about everything in my life right now that i'm even questions about what i want to do in life which is bad because i know what that is valentines day is soon and i hope its a good one this year and all i want really is a red rose fake or real and to be with luke all day well...... i don't know what else to say cause its only the [10th] today maybe i'll update some more the month goes on.
ok now its the [14] Valentines Day well luke was sick so he wasn't at school and i was a little sad a bout that and plus he had to go to work but he said he got me a present so i'm really curous what it is and i bought a condom gram i got a purple condom, AIDS ribbon, a little booklet about AIDS and gum (thats what i really wanted) so it wasn't all bad but now i have to wait to see how luke is going to owe it up to me catch all of you at the end of the month.
ok its the [23] of Feb and i decided every week i'll update my month journal ok sence valentines day me and luke had a bit of a fight but we wore really open with each other and now things are ok and Luke did something i know he would do some day (i'm so proud of you luke ) sadly i'm in a blah moment hearing things i know that aren't true and i hate it so much and i guess i been really moody today i been getitng kinda pissy easy like i got really pissy at my chemistry lab when i was typing it up i almost cryed (pathitic of me) and when i got home i just did some chemistry homework (i hope its right) and me, Michel and dad went to movie gallery and i got FF 12 agian so i just have to juggle homework, luke time, playstation 2 time, computer time, dad/michel time, writing story, reading and chilling with freinds but i'll mange i can do some things at once but not all (lol) i got a bunch of application and printed off some resumes so tomorrow i'm going to the mall and i hope i can see luke when he gets off for work well thats the only thing i can think of to say for so far give you more info on my life some time next week.
its the [28] the last day of Feb so last edit for this month i'm going away this weekend so in next month journal i'll tell you all about it i drew a picture like last year and i decided to show all of you and i'm thinking about drawing i just need to pactise right now i been having break downs alot lately which i really hate because it makes me upset even watching Passions (pathitic i know) and luke being worried about me which he doesn't have to and the reason for them is because i'm in a tight spot in my life and it feels like i'm doing it alone because i don't know any real adult beside my dad which he doesn't live with me to help me well enough me complaning about my problems other than that i'm good and happy and sence mom has been gone the stress has ease a bit and i'm happy its me, dad and michel agian i really miss that like it was a few years ago when michel lived with me and dad well thats all for this month.